Valentine's Day

Years ago I wrote a blog about how much I hated Valentine’s Day and I still do, to a degree. However, I realized that love has a different meaning now than it did all those years ago. I have been in relationship for 7 years and in those years I learned that loving someone does not make life any easier. I’ve also learned that compromise and mutual respect are much more important aspects of love than romance is.

Sharing a life with someone else is the most complicated and rewarding aspect of life.  I believe that parenting is easier than marriage, because as a parent I’m in charge my house my rules. In my marriage neither one of us holds the ultimate power, therefore we have to communicate and compromise. Interpersonal communications is always a challenge it requires good listening skills, empathy and a grasp of body language. The longer two people are together the easier it becomes to “hear” the other the person. Love used to mean romance, fun and gifts but over time these things have faded into the back ground and a deeper attachment was formed. Mutual understanding, respect and the decision we are in this together forever. Once the latter decision was made things became easier, without the question of whether it was all worth the time.

This Valentine’s Day we just might celebrate not only our love for one another but also how far we have come over the years. There have been many hard times and I’m sure there will be more. However, I believe we have weathered the storm and realized that we can do this together. The reason behind my confidence in us is the fact that I have watched us hold on to this relationship. It could have ended; it would have been easier for us to just walk away. However, we have kids and one thing we see eye to eye on is raising these kids together. It’s not only the commitment to each other that is important. It is the commitment to the kids as well. The fact of the matter is our kids are the most important things in our lives everything else come second including our relationship. It works for us because we know each other so well we don’t have to focus on “us” day in and day out.

We know each other very well and there are no surprises anymore and he is my best friend just like he was eight years ago. We trust each others judgment and respect each other’s thoughts and feelings. Letting go of the small personality quirks we don’t like in each other was not easy but has made things so much better. When I step back and look at the big picture the small day to day conflicts are inconsequential and the bigger meaning of a happy life and marriage can shine through.  

Today I just wanted to take the time to say that it’s all been worth it, and I know we’ve got this. No matter what happens we will face it together and get through it.

Happy Valentine’s Day Brian! I love you.