The Beginning

This blog is an exercise in writing, to make sure I can still do it. There is a void in my head where the words used to flow freely. The sense that part of my brain is under water or in a heavy fog is unnerving, as I used to write non-stop. Day to day I am an unintentional housewife, having graduated with a degree in political and public communication in May 2011, I have yet to find a job. I’ve put in hundreds of applications and have had one interview in the last six months. That is not why I decided to start writing again, I have been using writers block as an excuse, a cover-up, for the truth. My debilitating fear that I’m not as good as I used be, that somehow the fact that I’m a housewife gives less credibility to my writing, the idea that good writers are out there every day pounding the pavement to write stories that “matter.” I recently came to the conclusion that my writing does matter, it always has. This internal struggle, is just that, internal. There are many factors and reasons why I stopped writing but I can trace it back to one life changing event that I thought I was ready for. The night I said good-bye to parents and hopped into a U-haul truck with my boyfriend (he’s now my husband) and drove from Livermore, CA to Moreland, GA, it was a defining moment in my life.  It has not been easy; I long for the fog rolling over the hills and fast moving water of The River complete with its murky waters, and its hypnotic quality. Many of the things I took for granted while I was living in California are the very things I yearn for now. It has been six years since that night and my whole life has changed. I’m not sure that the changes have been positive. However, that cannot be an excuse anymore; I am picking myself up out of the void. I worked very hard to get my degree and this should not be any different, I have the drive, its finding the desire to create that I have trouble with these days. To create excellent work one must have both the drive and the desire. I have wanted to be a writer since I was 17 years old. That fact has not changed and it never will. So here it goes…